Relationship Advice
by DaughterofGreece
Summary: In which Carter Kane goes to the entirely wrong people for relationship advice. Major crossover between Maximum Ride, the Mortal Instruments, Percy Jackson, and the Kane Chronicles.


**Hi! How are you guys? Long time no see! I've been taking a break from my chapter stories for a bit (okay, a while), but I wrote this over Spring Break and I had a lot of fun with it. It's a major crossover between Maximum Ride, the Kane Chronicles, Percy Jackson, and the Mortal Instruments, with some brief mentions of Les Miserables, Spiderman, and the Hunger Games. So, uh, enjoy?**

* * *

"I am one thousand percent done," Isabelle moans, collapsing on the worn green couch.

"Why?" Sadie Kane asks, looking up and frowning.

"Simon, duh."

Thalia Grace rolls her eyes and continues to shoot Velcro-covered darts at a Nerf target. "I say ditch him. No good comes out of guys anyway."

"You like Percy," points out Isabelle. "And Alec, and Fang."

"She means romantically," Maximum Ride remarks lazily from where she's stretched out on the carpet.

Someone knocks on the door. "Sadie? You in there?"

Sadie sighs and says to her friends, "It's Carter," before yelling, "COME IN!"

The door opens, and a tall African-American boy enters the small dorm. "Hi, uh, I sort of need help."

"Let me guess- it's Zia," Sadie says.

"Yeah, it is." Carter looks beseechingly at his little sister. "Come on, Sades, you have more experience with romance than I do. I really need your help."

"Go ask Annabeth," Sadie replies irritably, her faint British accent showing a bit as she turns back to her magazine.

"She's... uh... _hanging out_ with Percy. In my room. It's rather disturbing."

"Go ask Drew."

"No."

"Jaz?"

"Come on, Sadie, for once in my life can't you make things easier for me and help?"

"Oh, fine. What's going on? Make it quick, I'm starving," Sadie sighs, putting her magazine down- it's Rolling Stone, Carter notices.

"Well," he says tiredly, absent-mindedly running a hand through his unruly dark hair, "apparently she thinks that I'm in love with Annabeth, which I'm _not,_ because Annabeth's one of my best friends, and besides she's dating Percy, but now Zia won't talk to me."

The door slams open again, and this time Nico diAngelo storms in.

"'Sup," Max remarks without looking up from Sadie's magazine that she's stolen. The pink that creeps up Nico's neck doesn't go unnoticed by Carter, and he inwardly smiles- sometimes he thinks that the kid's had a crush on every girl he's met.

"What's going on?" Isabelle asks absently.

"Simon won't stop bit-"

"Language," Thalia cuts in abruptly.

"Fine, jeez. Simon won't stop complaining about how confusing girls are. It's getting annoying to the point that I just wanna lock him a closet with you, Izzy," Nico says, slamming himself down next to Isabelle. Carter has noticed that Isabelle and Nico have become somewhat close, for some odd reason- they were the last people you'd expect to be friends.

Isabelle seems to perk up a bit at this bit of information.

"Plus, Iggy seems to think that it's a good idea to follow me around and chatter about _his _love life."

"With Ella?" Max demands suddenly, her head flying up.

"No, with some other girl- Tess?"

Max swears to herself and throws the magazine across the room.

"Hey, that was mine!" Sadie exclaims.

"Technically, it's mine, since I bought it," Max retorts, but Carter intervenes before they get into a full-blown argument. "Hey, Sadie, I need help too- remember?"

"Why does everyone come here when they need help with their relationships?" asks Thalia, shooting at the target with more vigor as if to punctuate her words. "I mean, last week Gwen Stacy asked me why Peter Parker didn't go to her dad's funeral. I feel bad for the girl, but why would I have a clue?"

"Agreed," Max remarks. "Yesterday, Katniss Everdeen inquired whether she should choose Peeta Mellark or Gale Hawthorne. Eponine Thenardier asked me how she should get Marius Pontmercy's attention. I am _so_ not the girl to come to with these problems!"

Isabelle jumps up abruptly. "Well," she chirps, "I'm off!" With that, she flounces out.

"That was a quick mood change," Carter says, confused.

"You get used to it."

"So, anyway, help?"

"Mother of Zeus, just tell her what you told us and live happily ever after!" Thalia says, exasperated.

Carter stares at her, lips parted in surprise. "You can _do_ that?" he asks finally.

"I don't know!"

"Then why did you tell me to do it?"

Everyone's palms met their foreheads at the same time.

* * *

**And finito. I personally think that Carter was sort of out of character, so if you could give me pointers on how to write his character better, I will love you forever.**


End file.
